Firsts (VIXX Hyuk)

I love this one.  Virgin Hyuk.  So cute.  Aw shucks.





I fell in love when I was eighteen years old.  I never expected to fall in love at such a young age, but I did.  And I blame him.

I met Sanghyuk on the first day of college.  We shared a class and I noticed him right away because he was taller than most of the guys in the class.  Broad shoulders, great body, sharp features, a nose a little too big for his face and a mischievous grin that just made me melt.  Why a grin would do that to me I'd never be able to figure out, but it did.

At first we didn't say much to each other.  He was popular and had a huge group of friends he hung out with daily.  I was quiet and studious, focused more on my studies than socializing.  But I noticed him.  Every time he came into the room, my eyes followed him.  He fascinated me and it was honestly a bit intimidating how distracting he was for me.

It got worse when we were assigned to be lab partners.  He slid into the seat next to mine, that cheeky grin on his face.  I wanted to be annoyed with him, but for the life of me, I had no idea how to act around him and just ducked my head.  He didn't let that happen for long, his arm nudging me, bringing me out of my shyness.  He talked to me all the time, never letting me remember that I was shy.  It was a weird feeling to have someone talk to me and not be intimidated by my quiet nature.

As we worked together, we got more comfortable in each others company.  I found myself opening up to him, smiling, laughing, basically a complete opposite to my normal behavior.  On the days we had classes together, I found myself looking forward to it, taking extra care in my appearance.

I didn't even realize what my feelings were until my friend pointed it out.  We were out at lunch and I was prattling on about something Sanghyuk had done, when she leaned over and put her hand on my arm.

"Whoa, you've got it bad!"

I stopped talking, looking at her in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

 "We've been here for twenty minutes and all you've done is talk about Sanghyuk."

"I did?  Really?  Are you sure?"

She rolled her eyes at me as she went back to her salad.

"Trust me, I know more about him than I'd like.  Don't get me wrong, he's adorable, but in a cute puppy kind of way."

"Cute puppy?  He's gorgeous!"

She snickered and gestured at me with her fork.

"And here we go again!"

"Oh, shut up!"

"Someone's got a crush!  Someone's got a crush!"

Her sing-song voice made me want to smack her.  But as I finished up my sandwich, I realized she was right.  I did have a crush and it was painful.

As the class progressed it got even more painful.  It was obvious to me that he didn't see me as anything but a lab partner and maybe a buddy.  He was always friendly and outgoing towards me, but never did he do or say anything that would encourage my crush to go further.  It sucked, to be honest, because I was finding myself liking him more and more.

Yes, he was a bit obnoxious, his smart tongue and mischievous nature getting him into his fair share of scrapes, but he was also generous to a fault and had a good heart.  He was nice to everyone, not just his group of friends.  It was nice and very, very frustrating.  If he'd singled another girl out and was only friendly to her, I'd be able to move away from this thing I felt.  But he wasn't.  And when he was nice to me, even though I knew there was nothing behind it, my poor heart would beat faster and my palms would sweat.  It was so unfair that everything I felt was so one-sided.

My friends were tired of me talking about him all the time and it got to the point where one of my friends told me I had to tell him I liked him or she would.  Since she never gave threats lightly, I knew it was now or never.  Thankfully, it was the day before summer break.  I figured I could tell him and then disappear for three months.  It took all of my courage to ask him if I could talk to him after class.  He gave me a weird look, but agreed.  Once the class had ended and we were the only ones there, I took a deep breath and let it all out.

"IreallylikeyouandIknowyoudon'tlikemethatway, butIhadtotellyouormyfriendwould."

I spoke so fast the words all blended together, my nerves making me stutter.  Sanghyuk stared at me, his eyebrows scrunched up as he tried to decipher what I'd said.

"Can you say that again?  Because I have no idea what you said."

I took another deep breath and closed my eyes, knowing that if I looked at him when I said it, I'd lose my nerve.

"I like you and I know you don't like me that way, but I had to tell you or my friend would."

Without giving him a chance to respond, I turned on my heel and ran, my eyes blurred with humiliated tears.  I didn't want him to know how I felt about him and the fact that I'd felt forced into it sucked.  I ran all the way home, my sides heaving and sweat pouring down my body.  I didn't stop until I'd reached my room, my mother's voice in the kitchen a distant drone.  I didn't want to see or talk to anyone.  I wanted to wallow in my humiliation just a bit longer.

I locked the door and slid down until I sat on the floor, my head back against the door.  Why me?  Why him?  Why couldn't I have had a crush on someone as quiet and shy as me where we'd just smile at each other and blush all day?  Why did it have to be him?  I was so thankful that I wouldn't have to see him for the next three months.  Summer break was a godsend.

The next day I left to start my internship.  I'd applied for it at the beginning of the year and being accepted made my dream one step closer.  I wanted to be a fashion designer.  I'd always loved fabric and made most of my own clothes.  The design firm I interned at was one of the best in the world and it was everything I'd ever wanted.

At first it was terrifying.  I didn't know the language very well, even though I'd studied it in school.  The beautiful models I worked around were intimidating beyond belief.  The first two weeks I was there, I cried myself to sleep every night, missing my family, my friends and him. 

Things got better when I befriended one of my fellow interns.  Mari was everything I wasn't; worldly, super outgoing with a flair that I envied.  We found ourselves working together quite a bit and started talking.  Turns out we had a lot in common, including boys.  Except where mine was unrequited, hers was mutual.  She was nineteen and head over heels in love with her boyfriend.  She commiserated with me when I told her about what had happened over coffee one night. 

"Ah, so you are the shy type?  But men love shy women."

I snorted with laughter before taking a sip of my latte. 

"Maybe in your world, but not in mine.  Men tend to avoid me like I have the plague because all I do in their presence is blush and stutter.  It sucks."

Mari dug into her purse, pulling out her cell phone.

"This calls for an intervention!  My friends and I will school you on the ways of men and love.  When you go back, this Sanghyuk will not know what hit him!"

I protested to deaf ears as she dialed up her friends and asked them to meet us.  Twenty minutes later I was surrounded by fifteen women all near my age.  They chattered at me like magpies, making my head swim from too much stimulation.  I finally held my hands up to ward them all off.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!  You guys need to speak one at a time!  And slow down!  I can barely keep up with you!"

They all laughed and did as I asked.  They began calling out suggestions, some outlandish, but some worth remembering. 

"When you go back to school, pretend he's not there.  Men like the chase."

"When he talks to you, talk to him like you would a friend.  Don't act shy or bashful.  Have confidence!"

The list went on and on until I felt like my head was going to explode.  A part of me wished I'd had the forethought to bring pen and paper to jot down everything.  It was when clothing was mentioned that I finally put a stop to it.  One of the girls recommended I wear revealing clothing to show off my assets and I shouted a hearty "Hell, no!" to nip that thought in the bud.  At my reaction they all got quiet and looked at me closer.

One of the girls, the eldest of the group, came over and held her hands out to me.  I took them and let her pull me to my feet.  She began to turn me, slowly, making noises under her breath as she looked me over.  I kept my mouth shut, wondering what she was doing.  I got my answer when she let go of my hands and motioned for me to sit back down.

"Your overall style is good.  We just need to polish it up a little bit.  Do you wear makeup?  What about contacts?  The glasses are cute, but your eyes are so pretty.  You should think about getting contacts so that your eyes will be revealed."

A few more pointers before they gathered up their things and left.  I sat, bewildered, wondering what had just happened.  Mari sat next to me, a Cheshire cat grin on her face. 

"What?"

"I cannot wait for you to go back to him.  He will not know what to do."

I rolled my eyes, but she was right.  He wouldn't know what hit him when I went back with my new style and my fragile confidence that was slowly getting stronger.  After I took the girls' advice and experimented with makeup and getting contacts, things changed.  Men, who had never looked at me twice, began to flirt with me.  It was so weird and overwhelming I didn't know how to react at first.  But I remembered what the others had said and would just smile and ignore them.  I wasn't interested anyway.

When the internship was over, I said goodbye to Mari and her friends with a heavy heart.  I would miss them and their friendliness.  They were all excited to hear about what would happen when I got home and I had to make many promises that I would tell them before they were satisfied.  The trip home passed in a blur and when I arrived, my mother was there.  She met me with a tight hug and a few sniffles before taking me home.  It was two days before the new semester started and I had to prepare. 

On the first day of school I saw Sanghyuk on the other side of the main square, surrounded by his friends like usual.  He saw me and smiled, before his face settled into a neutral expression as he took in my new look.  I'd gotten my hair cut shorter, a pageboy bob that showed off my neck.  My glasses were gone in favor of new contacts.  Light makeup and a pretty new outfit I'd made.  A new book bag and Doc boots finished up my ensemble.  I felt...different.  Powerful, almost.  When I walked in those boots, I had a whole new walk.  It was more confident with a longer stride and I loved it.

Walking into class, my eyes automatically scanned for him, even though I didn't think we'd have classes together anymore.  I was there for my design degree while he was there for something else.  But, there he was, sitting at his desk, legs stretched out and arms crossed over his chest.  He saw me walk in and motioned at me to come to him.  I debated it for a second, before ignoring him in favor of a seat closer to the front. 

All through the class I could sense him watching me.  I'd never felt anything like it before and knew if I turned around, he'd be staring right at me.  I resolutely stared straight ahead, following my friends instructions.  After the debacle that was my confession I'd done a lot of thinking.  I still liked him; that wasn't something I could control.  But, I could control how I handled it.  What the other girls had told me had stuck.  I wasn't necessarily out to play hard to get, since that wasn't in my nature, but I also wasn't going to fall at his feet either.

After class, I gathered up my bag and left.  I was halfway down the hall when I felt a hand on my shoulder.  I was spun around until I faced him, my mouth open in shock.

"Excuse me," I cried, shoving his hand away.  "There's no need to manhandle me.  You could've just called my name!"

Sanghyuk sighed, his hands shoving into his pockets.

"I'm sorry.  I wanted to talk to you when I saw you earlier but didn't get a chance.  When did this happen," he asked, gesturing at me.  I glanced down at myself before looking back up at him.

"While I was on my internship.  Do you like it?"

I inwardly cringed at my faux pas.  I hadn't meant to ask him that, it had just slipped out.  I honestly didn't want to hear his opinion because if he hated it, I'd feel like an idiot.

"It's...different.  I kind of miss the old you."

My head cocked when I heard him say that.  I did hear him say that, didn't I?  He said he missed the old me.  I was so confused.

"What do you mean you miss the old me?  I'm still me, just polished."

"The old you seemed, I don't know, sweeter?  You've got an edge now and it's kinda scary."

I wanted to face palm at his words, but instead I just shook my head.

"Sanghyuk, I give up.  I can't do this anymore."

With those words, I turned and walked away.  I was blind and deaf to everything, my feet leading me home.  I'd walked this route thousands of times and could do it blindfolded.  When the rain began to fall, I wanted to throw my hands up and shout at God for doing this to me.  It was bad enough that I'd confessed all those months ago.  But now, my attempts at making myself better were an absolute failure.  I was a joke of epic proportions and it sucked to realize it. 

Instead of going home, I continued to walk, the rain drenching me.  It was summer and it wasn't cold, but I knew I looked like a drowned rat as I stumbled along.  I wasn't crying, I wasn't doing much of anything, my focus completely internal as I mentally berated myself for this, that and everything.

I heard my name being called, yelled even and turned to watch as Sanghyuk ran towards me.  He stopped a mere foot away, his hands on his knees as he bent over to catch his breath.  I watched, waiting for him to regain his composure.  I didn't know what to say to break the silence nor did I know why he'd followed me. 

"Damn, woman!  I've been yelling your name for the last ten minutes!  Are you deaf or something?"

I shook my head and turned to walk away.  His hand on my arm stopped me.

"Would you stop doing that?  Every time I try to talk to you, you walk away from me and it's starting to piss me off.  Can I please say my piece now?"

I sighed and motioned for him to continue.  His hand dropped to his side and he just looked at me.  The silence was a bit unnerving, but I waited. 

"Why did you run away after you told me you liked me?  You never gave me a chance to respond."

"I was humiliated.  I didn't want to tell you and my friend forced my hand."

"Why didn't you want to tell me?"

"Sanghyuk, honestly?  Let me count the reasons, shall I?  First of all, you're stupid popular.  You could have any girl at this school and then some.  Secondly, I'm not your type.  Thirdly, you are so far out of my league it's not even funny and I felt like it was a waste of both of our time."

He listened as I went through my list,  his arms crossing over his chest.  When I'd finished talking, he began to laugh.  It wasn't mean or malicious, it was a full-blown belly laugh.  It still pissed me off and I glared at him as he threw his head back with laughter.  How rude!

"First of all," he said once he'd gotten himself under control, "I'm not stupid popular.  I have friends, but I'm not popular.  Secondly, I don't want just any girl.  Thirdly, who's saying you're not my type?  And fourth, you're an idiot."

I gaped up at him, mouth open in shock.  He just called me an idiot?  Seriously?  Before I could think of a comeback, his arms had uncrossed and he was reaching for me.  Hands on my upper arms, slowly reeling me in.  Rain poured down over us, soaking us both.  His hair was plastered to his skull and droplets dripped off the tip of his nose, but to me, he was beautiful.  When his head dipped and his mouth brushed over mine, it felt like a dream. 

Eyes fluttering shut as I sighed, hoping I would never wake up if this was a dream.  His kiss was everything I'd ever thought or dreamed about.  Lips firm yet soft against mine, tongue brushing over my lips.  Sliding inside when my lips opened on a gasp, pressing up against my tongue.  He tasted of candy, something sweet and tangy.  My arms went up to wrap around his neck, my fingers bunching in the back of his t-shirt.  His hands slid away from my arms and went around my waist, pulling me close.  My very first kiss and it was sheer perfection.

And now, six months later, I still have to pinch myself.  Every morning I wake up, slip on the glasses he'd talked me into getting back and send him a text wishing him a good morning.  Every morning, I get a text back telling me he loves me and to have a good day.  Up until now, I never thought in a million years that I would be with someone who loved me as much as I loved them.  And I did love him with every fiber of my being. 

There was only one little...problem.  It wasn't even a problem really.  It was more me dealing with my lack of experience.  Sanghyuk was my first everything.  First kiss.  First sleepover.  First...everything.  And he'd be the first man I'd ever had sex with, if I could get up the guts to do it.  We've made out and things have gotten pretty hot between us, but every time I sensed it getting to that point, I froze up.  And honestly, I'm getting sick of it.  I want him more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.  I want to share myself with him in any and all ways, but the shy virgin inside of me is terrified.  Scared to death I'll do something wrong and ruin everything. 

Today is our six month anniversary and when my alarm went off, I sat up, slid on my glasses and sent him a happy anniversary text telling him how happy I was that he was mine and that I loved him very much.  And...nothing.  No response.  I waited for a half hour and nothing.  I got out of bed with a dejected sigh and went to take a shower. 

As I bathed, I mentally berated myself.  I knew he wanted to go farther.  I did too.  I loved the way it felt when he touched me and would drift to sleep with pleasant dreams.  It wasn't like I'd never touched myself.  I did, a lot, but it just wasn't the same.  I wanted to feel him inside of me.  I wanted to take this as far as it would go, but I was scared.  I'd heard horror stories about my friends first time and even though I knew a lot of it was exaggerated, it still circled around in my head.   

When my shower was finished and I'd gotten dressed, I went back into my bedroom and saw the light flashing on my phone.  It was a text from him asking me to meet him that night.  It was cryptic and not his usual sweetness, which made me nervous.  Was he planning on breaking up with me?  If that was the case, I didn't know if I'd be able to survive it.

The entire day I was a nervous wreck.  I was turning myself into a basket case over nothing but supposition on my part and by the time I went to meet him, I could barely stand still.  He'd asked me to meet him downtown at our favorite restaurant.  I'd dressed with care, wanting him to see that I cared.  When I arrived, he wasn't there.  I sat down with a sigh, my fingers twisting nervously in my lap. 

Twenty minutes later, he arrived.  Dressed in a sharp black suit.  Hair styled to emphasize his amazing bone structure.  A dozen blood red roses in his arms.  I stood up, all of the nervousness and despair I'd felt all day disappearing, leaving me feeling slightly lightheaded. 

"Sanghyuk!"

He grinned at me, holding the bouquet out to me.

"Happy anniversary, baby!  I love you!"

I felt the tears welling up as I accepted the flowers, holding them close to my chest.  I took a deep breath, trying desperately not to cry.  And failing miserably.  The tears slid down my cheeks as I ducked my head, my nose buried in the flowers.  The sweet scent filled my senses, overwhelming me.

I felt his arms go around me as he gathered me close. 

"Are you okay?"

"I thought you were going to break up with me," I said, my voice small.  He snorted and slid a finger under my jaw to lift my head. 

"Why would I break up with you?  I love you!"

"But, you were so cryptic this morning.  And I know we haven't had sex yet.  And I know you want to.  And I want to too, but I'm scared.  So scared I'll make a fool of myself.  Scared that you'll hate me when it's over."

He gathered me close again, his chin resting on top of my head.

"Silly woman.  Is that what's got you so worked up?  Yes, I'd love to make love to you, but I'm not going to force you to do it.  I want you to be 100% sure you're ready, okay?  Don't ever feel like you have to do something you're not ready for to keep me.  I'm a grown man and can take myself in hand if I need to."

I giggled at his choice of words, a blush coming up to redden my cheeks.  The thought of him masturbating made a warm shiver go down my spine. 

"Having said that, if I tell you I've rented a room in the hotel, would you hate me?  We don't have to do anything.  I just thought we could spend time together away from our family and stuff.  I want to sleep with you in my arms if nothing else.  Okay?"

I nodded and we left the restaurant without eating.  Any thought of food made me slightly nauseous, the emotional upheaval I'd put myself through all day not being kind to my poor stomach.  And the thought of sleeping in his arms gave me warm fuzzies.  Even if we didn't have sex, knowing that I'd be wrapped up in his arms all night was the most amazing thought.  I couldn't wait. 

We checked into our room and held hands on the elevator ride up.  The silence was peaceful and I rested my head on his shoulder.  He chuckled, leaning down to kiss the top of my head.  We got to our room and he unlocked the door, pushing the door open with a flourish.  He gestured for me to step inside and I did.  Lights flicked on behind me, illuminating the room.  Flowers on every available surface, lit candles placed strategically around the room, a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne on ice.   It was magical and so...him. 

I turned to look at him, my hands clasped in front of me.  He leaned against the door, a shit-eating grin on his face as he watched me.  I laughed and charged, jumping up to wrap my arms around his neck.  His arms came around me, pulling me close.

"You're such a devil!  I can't believe you did all this!"

He lifted me up, twirling me around, before setting me on my feet.  The kiss he placed on my nose was playful, the mischievous grin I loved so much lighting his face.

"You're my everything and I wanted you to know that.  Happy Anniversary, baby.  I do love you, so much."

"I love you too," I said, going up on tiptoe to kiss him.  It was a sweet kiss.  Full of promise.  I was so close to telling him I was ready, but it just wasn't quite time yet.  Sanghyuk kissed me back before stepping back. 

"I know I didn't have you pack anything, so I have something you can sleep in.  Go change?  I'll do the same, hmm?"

I nodded and took the folded bundle of clothing from him.  Going into the adjoining bathroom I took of my dress, hanging it up on the back of the door so it wouldn't wrinkle.  Removing my bra and turning to the pile of clothes.  He'd given me his favorite t-shirt and a pair of boxers.  Snorting at the decidedly unsexy attire, I slipped into it.  The shirt hung down almost to my knees and the boxers were so loose it was laughable, but I held them up as I opened the door and stepped out. 

Sanghyuk stood waiting for me, his back to the door as he looked out the window.  I walked up to him, slipping my arm through his and leaning my head against his shoulder.  We stood like that for a long time, until the boxers gave up their fight with gravity and slid down to pool at my feet.  I looked down and burst into laughter, my hands coming up to cover my mouth.  If I'd had any plans to seduce him, this was so not how I would have gone about it. 

I stepped out of the boxers and kicked them aside, still getting the giggles as I thought about it.  Sanghyuk didn't say anything as he walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers.  He slid into bed and held up the covers, motioning for me to join him.  I bit my lip, before taking a deep breath and walking the two feet to the bed. 

Sliding in next to him was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  I was shaking with nerves when his arms wrapped around me and snuggled me up close to him. 

"Take a deep breath, okay?  Just close your eyes and go to sleep.  Nothing will happen, I promise.  Not until you're ready.  I just want to hold you."

He repeated this litany as I did as he said.  His voice got softer as I started to relax, the warmth of his body around mine comforting me.  He rolled over onto his back, draping me over him so that my head rested on his chest.  I drifted off to sleep, his heartbeat thumping in my ear. 

When I woke up, I was disoriented, no idea where I was.  I was laying on my side, my body snug against something warm.  An arm draped over my middle and deep breathing against my ear.  I blinked a couple of times, my mind taking a second to kick in.  My eyes opened wide as I remembered everything.  How he'd held me all night, not letting me go.  He'd kept his promise, not making any moves to seduce me.  I felt something hard against my lower back and a blush streaked my cheeks when I realized what it was. 

I seriously had to pee and I desperately wanted to brush my teeth, but being held close to his body like that, I didn't want to leave.  But my bladder had other ideas and I slowly made my way off the bed, doing my best not to disturb his sleep.  Once I'd finished taking care of business, I hunted for a toothbrush and toothpaste.  I found both, those tiny travel ones that barely did their job.  But I didn't care.  I wanted fresh breath to greet him first thing in the morning.  Not morning breath from hell.

After I finished, I went back into the bedroom.  What I saw made me smile.  Sanghyuk was now wrapped around my pillow, his arms holding it tight.  In the bathroom, I'd realized something.  I was ready.  For whatever reason, I'd taken that final step.  I needed him.  There was no other word for it. 

I snuck over to the bed and gently pulled my pillow away.  I'd just sat down on the bed and was getting ready to stretch out when a strong arm wrapped around my waist and pulled.  I found myself on my back, Sanghyuk looming over me, looking adorably sleep ruffled, his hair standing on end.  He started to lean down to kiss me, but I held a hand up, covering his mouth. 

"Toothbrush and toothpaste are in the bathroom."

He snickered, before rolling over and going into the bathroom.  I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, wondering if I was ready for this.  When he got back into bed and rolled into me again, his lips covering mine, I knew I was.  I kissed him back with an intensity I'd never felt before.  I knew he could sense it when he pulled back and looked at me, his hand coming up to brush hair away from my face.

"You seem happy this morning."

The sound of his voice sleep husky and warm made me smile.  I'd never heard a man speak first thing in the morning and I found that I liked it.  A lot.

"I am happy.  I've come to a realization."

"What's that?"

"You know that I love you, right?"

"Of course.  I love you too."

"I know you do.  And what do people do when they're in love?  Wait, that sounds dumb."

He smiled at me and bent down to kiss me again.  I pulled back and shook my head.

"I want you to make love to me, Sanghyuk."

His eyebrows went up in surprise, before a sweet smile came to his lips.

"Are you sure?"

"I've never been so sure about anything."

Not another word was said as he bent down to kiss me again, this time with more intensity.  His body was over mine, his weight a warm heaviness over me.  Hands sliding down my sides to the hem of his t-shirt.  Fingers underneath, brushing over my inner thighs as he slowly pushed the shirt up.  Weight shifting to the side, his lips still against mine, tongue brushing over my lips.  I opened for him, sighing into his mouth at his taste. 

He pulled back, his fingers brushing over the waistband of my panties, tickling me.  I shifted, my hands coming down to cover his.  He stared down at me, his hand turning over so that our fingers could link.  He lifted my hand up to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to the back. 

"You okay?"

I nodded.

"If I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, just tell me to stop, okay?"

I waited, wondering what his next move would be.  He sat me up and pulled the t-shirt over my head, leaving me bare but for my underwear.  He lay me back down, settling me into the pillows, before he began.  I wasn't prepared for how gentle he would be.  Every touch, every kiss, everything was beautiful and everything a woman could wish for.  Any nervousness I'd felt before melted away in how he was cherishing me.  And that's exactly what he was doing.

Light brushes of his fingers over my skin, learning me.  Fingertips circling my breasts, brushing over my nipples.  My eyes drifted closed as he leaned forward, his lips closing over the tip.  Flicks of his tongue, a nip here, a lick there.  My hands slid up his back to his head, fingers tangling in his hair.  Pulling him closer, needing more.

Fingers hooking into the waistband of my panties, pulling them down my legs, exposing me completely.  Brushing up the insides of my legs, coming up to settle over me.  Legs moving restlessly, waiting for his next move.

"Open your legs for me, baby."

His voice, sex-rough and husky, made me weak.  I did as he asked, my legs opening to give him better access.  He rewarded me by brushing his finger over my clit.  I let out a whimper at the sensation, so different from what it felt like when I did it.  Circling lightly, barely touching, making me melt.  Sliding down to circle my opening before sliding inside.  My breath hitched at the sensation.  It didn't hurt, it just felt different.

"You okay?"

I nodded without opening my eyes, my entire focus on his fingers.  The way they felt on my skin was almost too much for my senses to handle.  When he began brushing kisses over my neck and shoulders, it was too much for me.  I came with a moan, my hips rolling up against him. 

I lay there panting, my body shuddering from aftershocks.  I hadn't expected I'd come so quickly and embarrassment stained my cheeks red.  My eyes opened and I looked up to see Sanghyuk watching me, a slight smile on his lips.

"You're so beautiful when you come," he whispered.  I shuddered under his touch, his words making me giddy.  We'd barely begun and I knew that this would be a day I'd never forget.  Sanghyuk sliding down until he was between my legs had me moving, my legs trying to close.  We'd never gotten this far and I felt too exposed.  The kiss he placed on my lower tummy made me giggle.

"It's okay.  Just relax."

That was easier said than done, but after a few deep breaths, I did.  Feeling his fingers brush against me, I shivered.  When I felt his tongue, it was almost too much.  My head arched back into the pillows as I moaned.  I'd never felt anything like it.  His tongue glided over my flesh, circling my clit.  A flick of his tongue over the hood of my clit, making me twitch.  It felt so good I couldn't even process it.  My body moved against him, hips rolling.  My hands covered my breasts, fingers tweaking my nipples.

When his finger slid inside, curling up just so, I swear I saw stars.  With every flick of his tongue and glide of his finger, he brought me closer and closer to another climax.  I could feel it coming, the orgasm feeling like it was at the tip of my tongue.  I couldn't stay quiet, noises escaping me at how good I felt.  Another finger sliding in and I was done.  I came around his fingers, my inner muscles clenching him tight.  He didn't let me come down from this one, his tongue and fingers bringing me right back up again.

He sat up and I opened my eyes to see him grinning at me, his lips shiny with my pleasure.  He lifted a hand to wipe his mouth, before standing up to strip.  He reached for something I couldn't see.  When I saw he was rolling on a condom, I bit my lip.  We had arrived and I was ready.  More than ready.  About ready to die, I wanted him inside me so badly.

He rolled over and crawled up until his mouth was aligned with mine.  His lips brushed over mine, his tongue slipping inside.  I could taste myself on his tongue, a weird sensation.  But I forgot any and all of that when I felt him.  The blunt head of his cock brushed against me, before he reached down to take himself in hand.  He guided himself in to me, sliding in just a bit.

The stretch didn't hurt, it just felt...odd.  He waited as I took a deep breath and relaxed.  Another inch.  Waiting.  Deep breath.  Another.  This went on until he was seated deep inside of me.  He bent over me, his arms holding up his weight, shaking at the effort it was taking for him to stay still.  But he did, allowing me to grow accustomed to the feeling of him inside of me.

Soft, languid kisses, building my desire back up.  I was still super sensitive from my previous orgasms, but as he began to thrust, rolling his hips gently against me, I realized that was good.  He was brushing nerve endings I didn't even know I had, making me moan.  When he slid one hand down to cup the back of my leg and lift it up so it wrapped around his hip, the change of angle made me cry out.  I wrapped both legs around him, allowing me to arch up when he thrust.

It felt so good I didn't want it to end.  I'd heard my friends say that orgasming your first time was usually not going to happen, but maybe I was the weird one.  Because I could feel it coming.  It hit slowly, coming up from my toes, making me thrash against him as it rolled over me.  I heard him curse, his mouth next to my ear and his body arching tight against mine as he came.  

We lay there, breathing harsh as we came down.  Sanghyuk was nothing but sweetness and gentleness, brushing soft kisses over my neck and shoulder.  He had me snuggled up against him, his soft cock still inside of me.  When he pulled out, I let out a whimper, missing the feeling of him inside of me.  He rolled over and stood up, disappearing into the bathroom.  I heard the shower turn on and he came back out to me. 

Lifting me up, he carried me into the bathroom, setting me down outside of the shower.  Reaching in he checked the temperature, before stepping inside and pulling me in with him.  I didn't know what he was planning, but when he did nothing but hold me, I settled.  He washed me, his touch tender.  When he reached between my legs, there was nothing sexual about it.  He was cherishing me and it was beautiful.

Once we'd finished and were dried off, he carried me back to the bed and curled up around me.  I lay on my side, facing him, not wanting to close my eyes.  I was so sleepy, but I didn't want this moment to end.  Sanghyuk watched me, a look on his face I can't describe.  All I knew was that  I didn't want to break the silence.

As I drifted off to sleep, I felt his arms tighten around me. 

"I love you, more than I can say.  You're my everything."

I smiled, brushing a kiss over his chest where his heart beat against me.

"I love you too.  And you're mine."