Dominate Me - Part 3 (VIXX Hyuk)

Hoo boy, this one turned out to be a bit deeper than I was expecting.  Now we find out why Sanghyuk has issues with soulmates and why he's so emotionally constipated.  All I can say is, his poor soulmate gets a bit frustrated. 

Hyuk & Hobi get one more part after this and then it's the next pairing.  Anyone want to guess who is next?  I cannot wait to write them, that's all I'll say.  As always, I hope you enjoy the ride.  And comments are always appreciated.  :)

Sanghyuk sat across from his soulmate, his fingers tapping the table nervously.  The silence was unnerving, neither of them saying a word in the last twenty minutes.  After Wonsik had so boisterously announced their relationship at the studio, he’d pushed them to leave, telling them they needed to talk.  That was twenty minutes ago and they’d yet to say a word.  

He let out a sigh and sat back, crossing his arms over his chest.  This was ridiculous.  They were soulmates for God’s sake.  If they couldn’t think of small talk, they were screwed before they even had a chance to begin. 

“So…tell me about yourself.”

His soulmate looked up from where he’d been contemplating the table, a look of surprise on his face before it cleared.

“Uh…what would you like to know?”

“Your name?”

“Jung Hoseok.”

“I’m Han Sanghyuk.”

“I’m twenty-nine, a dancer and own my own dance studio.”

“Twenty-eight and co-own After Dark with two of my best friends.”

 

“So I’m older than you.”

“Yes.”

“Does that bother you?”

“That you’re older than me?  No…should it?”

Hoseok shrugged, a slight smile on his lips.

“Depends on if you like older men or not.”

Sanghyuk snorted.

“Dude, you’re a year older than me.  If we were talking ten years, then I’d probably have a different reaction.”

“You’re not what I expected.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, after last night…I guess I expected you to be more…submissive?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Oh, hell no!  No, this whole thing is just so bizarre, you know?  What happened last night is so out of character for me.  I’m still not sure this isn’t all a dream.”

Sanghyuk reached over the table and pinched Hoseok’s arm lightly.

“Does that feel real enough to you?”

Hoseok rubbed his hand over the spot Sanghyuk had pinched and smiled.

“Yeah, it feels real.  How do you feel about all of this?”

“That you’re my soulmate?  Honestly, I don’t know.  I guess I’m still in shock that it even happened at all.  What about you?”

Hoseok chuckled softly under his breath.

“I’ve spent my whole life dreaming about my soulmate.  I had it all planned out.  How we would meet, how we would fall in love, how everything would happen down to the last detail.  I wasn’t planning on meeting them at a bondage exhibition in a club of all things.”

“Are you disappointed?”

“I don’t know yet.  Are you?”

“I don’t know yet.”

They smiled at each other, the awkwardness finally easing.  The conversation began in earnest from that point forward, the topics staying neutral and more a general “getting to know you” vibe.  By the time they said their goodbyes, Sanghyuk was feeling a bit more optimistic about the whole thing.  Hoseok still wasn’t what he’d expected, but he had a feeling he hadn’t seen the real man yet.  The man he’d just said goodbye to and the one who fucked him senseless were like complete opposites and it was a bit hard to wrap his mind around.  

As he walked back to the studio to finish up the day, his thoughts were lost in the man…Jung Hoseok…that Fate had decided was his.  What had he discovered about the man?  He knew he had a smile that would light up any room.  He knew he was rather particular about things.  He’d watched him complain about the coffee he’d ordered to the barista who’d made it, not satisfied until it was exactly what he wanted.  He knew that Hoseok was dedicated to his craft; that music and dance was his absolute passion in his life.  He liked that dedication, but at the same time, it was a bit intimidating.

“So, how did it go?”

He looked up from his thoughts as he walked into After Dark to see Wonsik smiling at him, a look of anticipation on his face.  He shrugged and walked over to his station, dumping his hoodie in the seat.  He knew he was being a brat by not telling Wonsik about his first meeting with his soulmate, but he honestly didn’t know what to say.  

“Sanghyuk!”

He glanced over his shoulder to see Wonsik glaring at him, his arms akimbo.

“What?”

“Dude, how did it go?  You’re not saying anything, so it was either a complete disaster or sheer perfection.  So which one was it?”

“I don’t know, Wonsik.  We spent the first twenty minutes at the café being stupidly awkward.  And then we talked a bit.”

“So what do you think of him?”

“He’s nice,” he said with a shrug.  “He’s a dancer.  Owns his own studio.  He seems a little straight-laced, but overall he’s a nice enough guy.”

“Your soulmate is nice?  Well…that’s nice.”

“Of all the things I thought my soulmate would be “nice” wasn’t one of them.  It’s not that nice is a bad thing, but it’s…kind of boring.”

“Were you expecting some kind of adventure?  Jesus, Sanghyuk, your need for adventure is going to come back and bite you in the ass.  It was your first meeting!  You can’t expect it to be perfect, you know.”

Sanghyuk flopped in his chair and ran his hands through his hair.

“It’s not that I want adventure, it’s…I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like a complete ass.”

Wonsik stared down at him for a minute before walking forward and clasping his wrist in his hand.  He pulled him to his feet and dragged him down the hall to the break room.  

“Sit down and spit it out, Sanghyuk.”

“I didn’t tell you how we met, Wonsik.”

“He fucked your brains out which is why you were limping this morning.  So, what’s the problem?”

“That’s exactly the problem!  He did fuck my brains out and I thought when I saw his name on my wrist that he’d be this…intense, adventurous person who’d take me for a ride.  Instead, he’s…nice.”

Wonsik sat down across from him, running an agitated hand over his face.

“I’m lost here.  Why is that a bad thing, again?”

“I don’t want nice in my life, Wonsik!  I want adventure!  I want to feel passion!  I want…”

“You want to lose yourself in them?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Sanghyuk, sometimes you boggle my mind.”

“What?”

“How do I say this?  Adventure is great with a fling.  Adventure is…exhilarating.  But in the long term?  Adventure would make your life a living hell.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You need stability in your life, Sanghyuk.  You always dive headfirst into these situations without thinking.  You need someone to do the thinking for you.”

“I’m not an idiot, Wonsik.  Yeah, I might jump into things sometimes, but I’m smart enough to not let it rule my life.”

Wonsik stared at him for the longest time before leaning forward, his elbows on the table and his expression intense.

“Tell me the last time you really thought your actions through before jumping into it.  If you can tell me a moment in time where you did, I’ll back off and let you make an ass of yourself.”

Sanghyuk thought about it for a minute, doing his best to think of something he could say.  When he drew a blank he shrugged.

“So I’m reckless!  Who isn’t?”

“But you’re always reckless, Sanghyuk.  Always.  In all the years I’ve known you I’ve never seen you be cautious about anything.  And since this is the most important decision of your life, I really, really want you to think this over, okay?  Don’t just jump to conclusions about this man.  He was chosen for you for a reason.”

“What if this was all a mistake and he wasn’t meant for me at all?  I mean, can you honestly see the two of us together?  Because he is so not my type.”

“Do you have a type?  I’ve seen you fuck anything that moves, Sanghyuk.”

“You make me sound like I don’t have standards.”

“You do: tall, dark and stupid.  As long as they bend over for you, they’re fuckable.  This time you were the one who was fucked, in more ways than one.”

“I think that’s the thing that’s bothering me the most.”

“What?  That you were the one on the receiving end this time?”

“It’s that he fucked me so well.  It was like he knew my body better than I do.  And then to meet him and see he’s nothing like I thought he’d be.  It bothers me.”

Wonsik snickered softly and reached over to pat his arm.

“He’s your soulmate, Sanghyuk.  Even if you’ve never met before, there’s still a connection there.  The same thing happened to me when I met Namjoon.  He knew me better than I knew myself and it’s still that way.  It’s what being a soulmate is all about.”

“I don’t know what to do, Wonsik.”

Wonsik sighed and reached out to pat his arm.

“If he contacts you again, meet up with him.  You’ve known each other for a day and a half, if that.  You can’t expect things to be perfect right away.  If that’s your expectation, you’re a moron.”

“You’re not helping me, Wonsik.”

“Sanghyuk, I say this with six years of friendship with you under my belt; grow up, hmm?  If you throw this away because of your need for adventure, I give up on you.”

 “Fuck you.”

Sanghyuk received a smack to the back of his head in retaliation before Wonsik left him to sit alone in the break room with his thoughts.  He hadn’t lied when he told Wonsik he’d expected something more.  It wasn’t that Hoseok wasn’t a good guy.  He might not know him well, but he could see it.  It was just that they didn’t seem to be remotely compatible.  Maybe he was grasping at straws because he’d never really wanted a soulmate to begin with and was looking for every reason why they shouldn’t be together.  Wonsik was probably right in telling him to grow up.  He was twenty-eight years old and still had trouble remembering that he was an adult.

He’d always been the one to do stupid things because he thought he was adventurous.  He’d sky-dived, scuba-dived, ran with the bulls in Pamplona, pursued men who were known to be dangerous; it was like he had no sense of self-preservation.  Taekwoon and Wonsik had gotten him out of some tight squeezes in his life.  There were times when he wondered why they were still friend with him.  It wasn’t like he’d made it easy for them.

He let out a sigh and stood up.  The day was half through and he needed to concentrate on work.  He could figure this all out later.

*Four Months Later*

Sanghyuk sat in his station, tapping a pen against a sketch he’d been staring at for the last twenty minutes.   Hoseok was supposed to be picking him up soon and they were planning on having dinner.  The last four months had passed by quickly, which still surprised him.  Time might have passed quickly, but his relationship was going at a snail’s pace which was mostly his fault.  Hoseok had been nothing but understanding and patience personified.  He knew that patience could only go so far though and felt somewhat guilty that he was dragging it out like he was.  

He tossed the sketch aside and stood up, stretching his arms over his head, his hand coming down to scratch at his stomach.  It was late and he was tired, but he looked forward to seeing Hoseok.  He would never admit it out loud, but he’d become fond of the man.  Every time they were together, he knew they would have a good time together.  But, for the life of him, he couldn’t seem to let it go past that first step.  They hadn’t even had their first kiss yet, which was ridiculous.  Even he could admit that this whole thing was ridiculous.  

“Hoseok on his way?”

He glanced over at Taekwoon, who was looking up at him from his spot at the sketching table.

“Yeah, he should be here shortly.”

“Have a good time, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Sanghyuk?”

“What?”

“Nothing.  Have a good night.”

Before Sanghyuk could say anything, the door opened and Hoseok stepped inside, a smile on his face.

“Greetings!”

“Hey, Hoseok.  I’ll be ready in just a sec.”

Hoseok waved at him before settling down in the waiting area, his hands crossing on his lap.  Sanghyuk hurried back to the break room and gathered up his bag before wrapping a scarf around his neck and pulling on his jacket.  Fall had reached the city, the weather much cooler and he hated freezing.  He slung his bag over his head and jammed his hands in his pockets before going back out to the front.

He stopped when he saw Taekwoon squatting down in front of Hoseok, their voices quiet but the conversation obviously intense.  He didn’t know what they were saying, but he knew it had to be about him.  His friends had been less than quiet in their frustrations with him and how he was dragging this out.  Instead of supporting him, they were supporting Hoseok.  He should probably feel betrayed but he knew in this instance that they were right.  

He cleared his throat before stepping forward.  Taekwoon straightened from his squatted position with a nod and Hoseok looked up with a smile.

“You ready?”

“Yeah.”

Hoseok stood up and gestured towards the door with a smile.  

“Let’s get some food.  Anything sound good to you?”

Sanghyuk shrugged and shook his head.

“Any food is good right now.  Why don’t you choose?”

Hoseok didn’t say anything as he led Sanghyuk out the door towards where his car was parked.  He didn’t say a word as they got inside and he turned on the engine.  He didn’t say anything through the drive to a restaurant they’d been to before.  In fact, he was silent; the only words from his mouth a thank you to the waitress who led them to their table.  Sanghyuk waited for him to speak, wanting to hear his voice, but there was nothing.  

The silence lasted until dessert when Sanghyuk couldn’t handle it anymore.  As the waitress set down a bowl of patbingsu in from of him he cleared his throat.

“What’s going on, Hoseok?”

Hoseok looked up from the molten chocolate lava in front of him, his eyebrow cocking up.

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t spoken a word to me since we left the studio.  Did I do something to piss you off?”

Hoseok set his spoon down with a clatter and sat forward, his hands clasped on the table in front of him.

“Sanghyuk, what are we?”

 

“What…what do you mean?”

“I mean, what are we?  Are we dating?  Are we friends?  I feel like I’ve been on tenterhooks for the last four months and honestly?  I’m kind of sick of it.  So, I’m asking, what are we?”

Sanghyuk looked down at his bowl of melting dessert, his teeth biting into his lower lip.  How to classify what they were?  It was a question he’d been asking himself since they started this.  Having the question asked out loud was disconcerting, but he knew he had to answer.  If he didn’t…there would be a chance he would be one of those with a tattoo but no soulmate.  And now that he had one, he didn’t want to lose them.

“I…don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?  Jesus, Sanghyuk, have I just been wasting my time pursuing this?  Should I put it down to a lost cause and walk away?  Because honestly?  I’m exhausted.  I keep feeling like I’m running in circles and getting nowhere when it comes to you and it’s pissing me off.”

“I’m sorry, Hoseok.  So sorry that I can’t seem to get my head out of my ass.”

“Why are you so scared?  Is it me?”

“God, no!  You’ve been nothing short of amazing.  I’m just an asshole.”

“Yeah, you kind of are.”

“So, what do we do now?”

“What do you want me to do?  I can’t keep doing this and getting nothing out of it.  You’re a good guy, Sanghyuk, but are you worth pursuing if you won’t do anything about it?”

Sanghyuk felt his heart stutter in his chest at the words coming from Hoseok’s mouth.  He’d fucked it up.  Fucked it up to the point where he didn’t know if he’d be able to fix it.  But he had to.  He had to take that big step forward and do the one thing he’d sworn he’d never do.  He had to beg.

“Hoseok, I’m sorry.   I’m sorry I’ve made you feel so unsure of yourself, of me, of us these last few months.  I…I’ve never done this before.  I’ve never let myself be vulnerable around anyone and that you caught me at my most vulnerable?  Scares the hell out of me.  I don’t know how to handle this.”

“Do you have feelings for me?”

“I feel something for you.  I don’t know what that feeling is because I’ve never felt it before, but I do feel something for you.”

Hoseok let out a deep sigh and stood up.  He pulled out his wallet and tossed a few bills on the table before walking away, leaving Sanghyuk staring after him, his heart in his mouth.  As Hoseok walked farther and farther away, Sanghyuk’s heart thumped harder and harder in his chest.  What the fuck was he doing?  Why was he letting him walk away?  He needed to fix this!

He pushed to his feet, stumbling over his chair as he tossed a few bills on the table to pay his share and ran.  He ran outside of the restaurant and down the street where Hoseok had parked.  Hoseok’s hand was on the door frame as he started to slide inside, but Sanghyuk wasn’t having that. With a quick move his hands were on Hoseok’s shoulders and he was spinning him around to face him.

“What the fuck?”

“Hoseok, listen to me!”

“Get your hands off me, Sanghyuk!  I’m done with this!”

“But I’m not!  Look, just…listen to me, please.”

Hoseok shrugged off his hands and slammed the door shut before crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m listening.”

Sanghyuk let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.  Now that he was here he had no idea what to say, but he knew he had to say something, anything, to keep Hoseok there with him.

“Can you take me home?  I don’t want to have this conversation for the whole world to hear.  I promise, I’ll explain myself, okay?”

Hoseok rolled his eyes but motioned at the car. 

“Get in.”

Sanghyuk hurried around to the passenger side and slid inside, hooking his seatbelt into place.  The drive back to his apartment was silent.  He couldn’t stop from fidgeting, his fingers rolling the bottom of his t-shirt up and then back down again.  He wasn’t able to look at Hoseok, not wanting to see what his expression was like.  He was going to be exposing himself in more ways than one once they got back to his apartment and it absolutely terrified him.  What kind of reaction would Hoseok have to what he had to say?  It wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, but it was one he knew they needed to have. 

Once in his apartment building, he led the way up to his apartment, his fingers still twisted nervously in his shirt.  He knew he had a reputation for being a hardass, but putting himself out there and vulnerable scared the shit out of him.  He had no idea how he was going to start this conversation, but as he unlocked the door and motioned for Hoseok to precede him, he knew he'd just have to do it.

"Would you like something to drink?"

Hoseok shook his head.

"No, just talk to me, Sanghyuk.  Tell me what's so important."

"Can you sit down?"

Hoseok sat down on the couch, watching him as he began to pace.  Sanghyuk paced the length of his living room three times before he finally spit out what he wanted to say.

"I know you're annoyed with me and you're more than justified for being pissed off with me.  I just ask that you hear me out and if you still want to leave, I won't stop you."

"Just spit it out.  You're torturing yourself over there."

"Remember how you said you'd planned everything out when it came to your soulmate?"

"Yeah, I do.  You still remember that?  I said that four months ago."

"I listen to what you tell me, Hoseok.  My parents were soulmates.  Met and fell in love within months of their eighteenth birthday.  Everything was perfect.  Until they got married and had me.  Then it all went to hell in a handbasket.  My dad got tired of the constant pressure to be something he wasn't and he left.  Left on my second birthday.  Just disappeared without a word.  I watched my mom deal with the emotional backlash of that until she died when I was eighteen.  And I swore that I would never, ever let anyone do that to me.  I didn't care if I ever found my soulmate.  I wanted to avoid that torture.  And I had, until I met you."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Because I didn't know how to tell you.  I didn't know how to tell you that being soulmates scared the hell out of me.  That I was terrified that you'd leave me."

"So you sabotaged us before we even had a chance."

"No, because if I had sabotaged us from the beginning, we wouldn't be here right now.  I tried not to feel anything because I figured that even if we were soulmates, it didn't mean that I had to fall in love with you."

"Do you love me?"

Sanghyuk stopped in the middle of the living room and looked over to where Hoseok looked up at him, his expression open and caring.

"I don't know.  I've never been in love before and don't know how it's supposed to feel.  I like you.  I like hanging out with you.  You're funny and your smile is like sunshine on a cloudy day.  But...I don't know if I love you."

Hoseok got to his feet and walked over to him, his hands coming to rest on his shoulders.  

"Oh, Sanghyuk, if you had just been honest with me, we could have moved past this months ago.  You've been torturing yourself over something that doesn't have to be that way."

"What do you mean?"

"Let me ask you something."

"Okay?"

"If you didn't know we were soulmates, would you want anything to do with me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You...make me...happy."

"I make you happy?"

"Yes, you make me happy.  Whenever I'm stressed out or frustrated, being around you makes me forget about that."

Hoseok chuckled softly, one of his hands sliding up from Sanghyuk's shoulder to cup the back of his head, his fingers threading through the soft hair there.  

"Sanghyuk, I don't know what to do with you."

"What?  Hoseok, you're confusing the hell out of me."

Hoseok leaned up, brushing his nose against the tip of his.  Sanghyuk's eyes fluttered shut as he felt his soulmate's warm breath against his skin.  He could smell that delicious aftershave Hoseok used; the one that had tantalized his senses all those months ago.  The feeling of his warmth against his own made him lift his arms, wrapping them around Hoseok's waist.  

"You frustrate the hell out of me and then bare your soul like that to me.  Sanghyuk, you may not be in love with me yet, but I'm so deep into you I'm drowning."

Sanghyuk's eyes opened wide as he stared at Hoseok, those beautiful eyes so close to his own.  This moment was intimate and sweet, something he wasn't used to.  But as Hoseok lifted up, the hand on the back of his neck pushing him forward, he couldn't bring himself to care.  The brush of Hoseok's lips over his was more than he could have ever expected.  For a first kiss, it was chaste, but it gave him a sense of comfort he'd never experienced before.  And as Hoseok pulled him close, snuggling his head into the crook of his neck, he never wanted to let him go.

*To Be Continued*