Missed Opportunities & Second Chances (VIXX Hongbin)

Hello!  I know, it's a miracle, but I AM alive!  Whoo-hoo!  *happy dance*  I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever be able to write again.  It seemed like the real world was out to get me.  First my WiFi went out & then I got hit with a terrible bug.  *sighs*  Thankfully I'm feeling much better AND I have my WiFi back! 

So, this story is a combination of a request and something I saw on Tumblr.  I couldn't help myself.  The idea was just too cute.  And it's Ramadan safe too!  So, my followers who are fasting and such can read it without worry.  Yay!





"I'm going to tell him."

You looked up from your lunch, staring agape at your best friend.

"You're going to tell what to whom?"

"I'm telling Wonsik I like him."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes!  It's the last day of school and I've been mooning over that big dope all year.  What do I have to lose?"

"Your sanity?"

She looked at you with a sneer, before rolling her eyes.

"At least I'm willing to tell my crush I like him.  You've liked Hongbin since Freshman year and haven't said more than two words to him."

"I've said more than two words!"

"Classroom assignments don't count."

"Whatever."

"Girl, you need to grow some balls.  Just step it up!  Tell him!"

You held your hands up and shook your head.

"Hell no!  Nuh-uh!  No way!"

"Your loss.  I'm gonna go tell him before I lose my nerve.  Do I look okay?"

You looked her over and gave her a thumb's up.

"You can do it!  Just come back and tell me what happens!"

"Of course!"

She took a deep breath and got up, walking across the lunchroom.  You watched her go, food left forgotten.  You wished you had the guts to tell Hongbin that you liked him.  You envied her confidence.  It wasn't like you were a total geek or didn't have friends.  You did.  You were a member of the softball team, you played volleyball, you had a ton of friends...but when it came to guys you thought were cute, you clammed up and turned into a bumbling idiot.

It was the last day of school before summer break.  One more year and you'd be graduating.  You wanted to tell him how much you liked him.  You'd even tried a couple of times, but all that happened was your mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air.  At the same time, you didn't want to go through another year of liking him from afar, graduating and never seeing him again.  It sucked that you were like this.  It really did.

The bell rang signaling the end of your lunch period.  Gathering up the garbage, you stood up and went to throw it away.  You slung your bag over your shoulder and hurried to your next period class, which just so happened to be one of the three you shared with Hongbin.

You sat down at your desk and let out a deep sigh.  You loved your seat because you sat right behind him.  You'd memorized the shape of his head, the way his shoulders seemed so broad until he stood up, the way clothes fit him just so.  You had it bad and you knew it.  It was just gathering up the courage to tell him that was the hard part.

Your best friend ran into the class, her face lit up and her cheeks bright red.

"He said he liked me too!  Oh, my God!  He likes me too!"

"What?"

She flopped down in her seat beside you, her hands coming up to fan her face.

"I went up to his locker.  I told him that I thought he was cute and that we should go out sometime.  He grinned; that cocky grin I like so much and said sure."

"He did?  Oh, wow!  That's so cool!"

"I know!  I just...I can't believe it."

"I give you so much credit.  I can't believe you had the guts to do that."

"You should talk to Hongbin.  It's the last day of school.  If it goes bad, you've got three whole months to get over it.  But...he could like you too!"

You snorted and shook your head.

"No way he'd like me."

"Would you stop that?  You're just as popular as he is.  You need to get over yourself."

Before you could say anything, he walked in.  It felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room.  Your heart beat so fast and so loud you were sure everyone could hear it.  You felt the blush climbing up your cheeks and ducked your head before he'd reached his desk.  You stared down at your hands, wishing you could just disappear.  Why could you never talk to boys that you liked?  Why was it that they seemed to be aliens to your poor brain?  It just wasn't fair.

Class went by in a blur.  The only thing you remembered about that class was your best friend motioning at Hongbin, mouthing to tell him already.  You knew she was right.  You had to get up the guts some time or you'd never date.  You nibbled your lower lip to the point that you made it raw, but when class was over and  you got up, you'd decided to do it.  You were going to tell him.

You followed him out of class and reached out to tap his shoulder before thinking better of it.  It wasn't until he'd reached his locker that you finally did it.  You walked up to him, shoulders back, smile on your face, pretending to be everything you weren't.

"Hongbin?"

He turned and looked at you, eyebrow cocked up in question.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Um, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Yeah, sure."

He pulled you to the side and then stepped back, arms crossing loosely over his chest.  You cleared your throat before taking a deep breath and letting it out.  Now, it was go time.

"Um...so...I...I wanted to tell you that I think you're really cute and I like you.  I was wondering if you'd like to go out for coffee or something sometime?"

He stared at you, a look you couldn't decipher on his face.  Was it confusion?  Disgust?  Constipation?  You couldn't tell.  

"Sorry..."

Without waiting for another word, you turned and hurried away.  Mentally berating yourself that you'd done this.  You'd opened yourself up for this huge letdown.  This was why you didn't confess to boys.  It was better to just keep it to yourself.


**


Lee Hongbin stood next to his locker, his arms hanging loose at his sides as he reeled from shock.  The girl he'd liked since the first day of Freshman year had just confessed to him and all he'd done was stammer a quick sorry.  He was an idiot.  An imbecile.  A complete and total moron.  He face palmed, wishing he had the ability to turn back time so he could do it totally different.  His best friend Wonsik came strolling up, a huge grin on his face.

"What's got you so happy?"

"Chloe confessed!  She likes me, bro!  Holy shit!"

"It must be an epidemic," Hongbin muttered under his breath, before straightening up.  He went over to his locker, putting in the combination and opening the door.

"What's that?"

"I said it must be an epidemic."

"Why?"

"I was just confessed to."

"Oh, yeah?  Who?"

"Who do you think?"

He glanced over his shoulder to see Wonsik staring at him, mouth agape.

"Your crush confessed?  Dude, you must have been flipping out!"

"I screwed it up is what I did."

"What?  How the hell did you do that?"

"I opened my mouth and words came out.  She told me she liked me and asked if I wanted to go out for coffee and the only word that came out of my mouth was "Sorry."  I'm an imbecile."

"You told the girl you've liked for the last three years sorry?  Are you completely out of your mind?  Why would you do that?"

"I don't know," he cried, his hands up in the air.  "I don't know why I said Sorry when what I wanted to say is I like you too and I'd love to!  I'm the world's biggest douchebag is what I am.  She must hate me now."

Wonsik reached over and patted his arm.

"Find her and tell her, man.  You can't let this fester all summer.  When we come back next year, she'll hate you for sure."

"Argh!"

Hongbin grabbed his bag and slammed his locker shut, before leaning his head against it and repeatedly banging into it.

"Why am I so awkward?  Why?  It's like I'm two different people.  I've liked her for three years and I can't tell her I like her.  This sucks so much I could cry."

He felt Wonsik's hand on his shoulder.

"Get a hold of yourself, man.  You're making a scene.  Just...go find her.  Apologize.  Tell  her you're an idiot."

Hongbin straightened up and turned to look at his friend.

"You're right.  I'll go do that.  After I throw up."

Wonsik snorted and smacked him.

"Really?  Give me a break."

Hongbin couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm just nervous.  What if she hates me now?"

"It's been all of five minutes.  I'm sure you'll be fine."

Wonsik took him by the shoulders, turned him in the opposite direction and pushed.

"Go!"

Hongbin did as he was told, hurrying down the hallway in the direction she'd disappeared.  As he searched for her, he mentally went over everything he wanted to say.  How he was sorry for momentarily brainfarting.  How he'd liked her for so long he'd forgotten what it was like not to like her.  That he was sorry for being such an imbecile.  That yes, he'd love to go out for coffee sometime. 

He searched all through the school, panic kicking in when he couldn't find her.  He went to all of their shared classes, the library, every room he could possibly think of and nothing.  There was no trace of her.  He flopped down on the top stair and ran his hands through his hair.  He'd screwed up so royally he was sure she'd never speak to him again. 

He let out a dejected sigh and tried to figure out how he was going to rectify this situation.  What could he do to make this up to her?  He looked up and saw Chloe walking by with a group of girls.  An idea hit and he stood up, jogging down the stairs.

"Chloe!"

She glanced over and saw him.  She shooed the other girls away and turned to face him fully.

"What can I do for you, Hongbin?"

"Did she tell you what happened?"

"What are you talking about?"

He shook his head, waving his hand dismissively.

"Forget it.  Where can I find her?"

"By her I'm assuming you mean my best friend?"

"Ha ha.  Yes!  Where is she?"

"She went home."

"What do you mean she went home?  We still have three classes left!"

"I don't know.  She sent me a text telling me she wasn't feeling well and was going home.  What happened?"

He let out a frustrated sigh.

"She told me she liked me and I messed it up."

"She confessed?  Wow, I'm impressed!  She's liked you since Freshman year!"

"You're not helping.  I need to find her so I can apologize.  Will you help me?"

"When you say you messed up, just how badly did you mess up?"

"I said sorry."

"You did what?  Do you have any idea how much guts it took for her to tell you and you tell her sorry?  I don't know if I want to help you."

"Look, I know I screwed up!  I was just so shocked that she'd done that.  I've liked her since Freshman year too and I couldn't believe the girl I liked so much liked me too.  I froze!"

Chloe shook her head.

"You two are a pair.  Fine, I'll help you.  What do you want me to do?"

"Can you text her and ask her to meet you?"
 
"She told me she's sick.  I don't think she's going to want to meet up tonight."

"What about tomorrow?  Please, I'm desperate!"

Chloe let out a deep sigh and pulled out her phone. 

"I'll ask her to meet me tomorrow at our favorite coffee shop.  What time?"

"Noon?"

"Fine.  This better work or I'm going to be pissed.  I've been hearing about you for the last three years.  If my efforts fall through, I'm blaming you for your sheer stupidity."

"Thank you so much!"

"Yeah, yeah.  Give me your number and I'll text you when I get an answer."

They exchanged phone numbers and he thanked her again.  She waved him off and walked away, leaving him feeling like a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders.  That he had a supporter in all of this made him hope that this would all work. 

He went through the rest of the day in a haze, his mind focused on what he'd do when he met her.  When the final bell rang, signalling the end of the school year, he was one of the first people out the door.  He got on his bike and rode home, hurrying up to his room without saying hello to anyone.  He holed up in his room, typing out different things to say on his computer.  He wanted to be fully prepared. 

He got a text from Chloe telling him where to meet them the next day.  That text made his night and he could barely sleep that night.  The next morning he was up with the birds.  He took a shower and dressed with care, selecting a pair of dark-washed jeans and a shirt everyone told him complimented his eyes.  He made sure his hair was on point and when he looked at the clock and realized it was only eight, he wanted to kick himself.  He had four hours before this meeting and he was a nervous wreck.

He pulled out his phone and shot a quick text to Wonsik, whining about his nerves.  At first there was no response, but once he'd sent an even dozen, he got a snarky response back telling him real men slept in on the weekend.  He paced his bedroom to the point he could do it blindfolded, his hands twisting nervously in front of him.  By eleven he'd worked himself into a frenzy. 

He took the bus to the address Chloe had texted him and went inside.  He ordered something, not really paying attention to what he ordered.  He took his drink to a corner booth with a clear view of the main entrance and waited.  Twelve came and went with no sign of them.  He kept glancing at his watch, wondering if he'd gotten the time right. 

His phone buzzed, a text from Chloe apologizing.  She told him they'd be late and he almost pulled his hair out.  At ten minutes after one he saw Chloe stepping in and then there she was.  He saw the dark circles under her eyes and how pale her face looked.  It made his heart hurt, knowing he was the one who put that look on her face.  He cleared his throat and stood up. 

Chloe spotted him first and steered them in his direction.  He bowed his head when they stopped in front of him.  She still hadn't looked up, her fingers twisting in front of her.

"Thank you for doing this, Chloe."

Chloe rolled her eyes and shook a finger at him.

"If you screw this up, I'm going to smack you so hard you'll forget your name.  I'm going to sit over there and I'm keeping an eye on you two."

He shooed her off and motioned for his crush to sit down.  She did, but still wouldn't look at him.  He sat down at his seat and leaned forward, reaching out to place his hand on her forearm.

"Will you look at me, please?"

She glanced up at him and he saw the tears dampening her lashes.  He gulped, but plowed onwards.

"I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.  You have no idea how sorry I am."

"I don't like that word."

"Especially coming from me?  I don't blame you.  I screwed up royally.  I just...you shocked me.  I didn't know what to say when you told me.  I've liked you for such a long time that I couldn't believe it was really happening.  I messed up.  I'd like to make it up to you."

She sighed and pulled back, her arms crossing over her chest.

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"First, I'm going to tell you how much I like you.  I do like you, a lot.  I remember the first time I saw you.  We'd just had Orientation and you were talking to Chloe.  I even remember what you were wearing.  I took one look at you and I was gone.  But I'm an idiot and awkward and every time I tried to tell you I was interested, I'd stutter and sound like an idiot.  When we were assigned to be lab partners during science class I was so happy!  That I got to sit next to you for an entire period was just the greatest thing ever.  But I still couldn't tell you.  And then yesterday happened and instead of saying what I'm saying now, I screwed up and said sorry.  If I could rewind time, I totally would."

"I've liked you for a long time too," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.  "First period was my favorite class.  Sitting behind you.  I memorized your schedule so I could see you every day.  And telling you what I told you yesterday wasn't easy for me.  I still couldn't believe I did it."

"Will you let me make it up to you?  Please?"

He watched as a slight smile graced her lips.  She made eye contact with him again, but this time there was a smile there and not tears.

"Maybe.  What were you planning?"

"Well, for starters, we could have that coffee.  And then we could go from there.  I'd like to take you on a real date."

"What's your idea of a real date?"

"I have no idea, but I'm sure I could come up with something."

She laughed then, her head back as her body shook with it.

"We're a pair, aren't we?"

"Three very long years of yearning."

She snorted.

"Yearning, desperation and an inability to speak to each other.  I'm hoping we're not doomed from the start."

He reached over and took hold of her hands, wrapping his fingers around hers.

"If I have my way, we'll be together for a long time."

"You still have a lot to make up for, you know."

"I know, but I'm okay with that."

"Then, yes, I'll go for that coffee and the real date too, whenever you figure out what that is."

He chuckled and lifted her hands up to his lips.  He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand and let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Some day soon I hope I can kiss you for real."

"Something you'll have to work up to."

"I'm okay with that."

They sat in silence, wrapped up in each other and the realization that they were there...together.  Hongbin wouldn't have it any other way.  When they stood up, hands clasped, he made eye contact with Chloe who gave him a thumb's up.  It was a good day.